It's too late, I'm sorry I love you
by Everyone's a Mortal
Summary: "Her eyes were heavy, her breath slow, and when she closed her eyes, all Emma could see was the blood on Hook's shirt, and the way his light faded before her eyes." Written for Whovanger259. NOW COMPLETE :D
1. Chapter 1

_Hi everyone. Just a heads up: Neverland happened, but Pan died and nobody ever switched bodies. This is for my friend, Whovanger259. She's an awesome person w ho is still learning the art of fanfiction like me, Kat, you weirdo, this is for you._

* * *

**_It's Too Late, I'm sorry I love you._**

_By __**Everyone's a Mortal.**_

_For Whovanger259._

* * *

_"I'd say sweet dreams... but there aren't any left."_

_~Rise of the Guardians; Pitch Black._

* * *

Emma doesn't wake up till Snow shakes her awake. The sun's bright and happy, but Emma is tired. She wants to sleep. Is that too much to ask?

Apparently, yes.

"Emma." Her mother whispers, creeping into the blonde's room, "Emma, wake up."

"Noooo."

Snow grabs a nearby pillow, muttering, "I really didn't want to do this..."

_Twack._

Emma gets up, her head a mess, her shirt showing her belly button. "WHAT?"

"Package."

Sighing, groaning, Emma changes and brushes her hair. Then she walks out to the kitchen where Henry is examining the package. "Whatcha doing, kid?" Emma asks, biting into an apple and grabbing a kitchen knife. Charming eyes the knife before going back to his newspaper.

Emma ruffles Henry's hair, and much to the boy's dismay, gets it sticky with apple in the process, "Hey! I just washed that hair!"

"Too bad." Emma says, and Charming cracks a smile. "Morning, David."

"Morning, _daughter_."

Emma sticks her tongue out at the man, and Snow stands beside her daughter as she rips open the package.

There's no return address, not even a note saying who sent the package, but as Emma explores it's contents, she knows who sent it. There's a bottle of rum with a KJ engraved on the sides. A necklace. A leather coat, sword, and white shirt. Emma realizes it's a package from Hook, though why he's sent it is a mystery. She and the pirate had grown close until a resent dispute. Then he had withdrawn, leaving Emma saddened and confused.

She spots the letter. It's been pushed to the bottom, below a picture of Hook, Emma and Henry on the _Jolly Roger. _In bold black handwriting -Hook's handwriting- are words that make Emma drop her apple and inhale a sharp breath.

**It's too late, I'm sorry I love you.**

David stands, seeing Snow's surprise, and Emma's grief. Then he puts an arm around Henry. "Emma?"

But his daughter grabs her red jacket and flies out the door, Hook's letter in her hand, keys to her yellow bug in the other. "Don't follow me!" She sobs as she runs out, and knows Henry will obey, and keep her parents from following.

* * *

The ride is so long, so panicking, that Emma runs all the red lights. Cars honk at her as she passes, and one annoying Storybrooke citizen shouts, "What a princess _you _are!"

Finally, she arrives at Hook's boat, jumping out of her bug, not bothering to lock it. The letter pressed against her body tightly, the sun shining down on her, Emma sprints, the air escaping her, the fear enveloping her.

Hook wouldn't commit.

No.

No.

He's too sassy. He's too sarcastic. He still hasn't killed Gold. No, he can't be gone, Emma tries to assure herself. But his message is overpowering her thoughts.

**It's too late, I'm sorry I love you.**

His smile haunts her as she runs onto the ship. "Hook?" She cries. "Hook? Hook!" Desperate, panicked, Emma shouts something she never thought she would.

"Killian! Killian? Killian!" She looks around the ship, sun warming her face, bright and happy, while she is confused and angry. "Please..." She whispers. The waves make their steady sound, but suddenly a man appears behind Emma.

She feels his eyes on her, and turns. There stands Hook, his hair a mess. He wears nothing but a white, old-fashioned shirt with ruffled sleeve ends and his pants. He is barefoot.

But this is not what makes Emma scream. What makes her scream is the fact that a knife is implanted in Hook's, stomach, and another knife in his ribcage, right side. Hook smiles at her dimly, his eyes dull. That sarcastic, sassy smile on his lips makes Emma scream all the more.

"Killian..." She whispers.

"It's too late, love." Hook says. His eyes are fading, and he's barely standing. "I'm sorry, Emma. Yes," he says, and pauses. Suddenly he collapses on his back, and Emma runs over to him, ignoring the puddle of blood, and cradles his head in hers. "That seems like a good way to end my life." He finishes.

His eyes are rapidly fading.

"K-Killian?" Emma whimpers. "No, no we can save you. We can. I... I'll call Whale and-"

"Emma, darling. You know it's too late." He smiles at her. His voice is weak.

"But we have to..." her voice breaks, "we have to try..."

Hook laughs, coughing up blood. "Make my last moments good, Emma."

"Why, Hook?"

"The truth?" He cough-laughs again, "No one could see me. You might've been an open book, but not me. I got bloody tired of it, love." He coughs again.

"What were we, Hook?"

"I wanted it to be something... of a... of a... of a love story..." He trails off. His eyes go dim, but his smile stays bright.

"Hook?" Emma asks. "Hook?"

No. She thinks. Her breath catches in her throat.

No.

No.

NO.

"I'm sorry." She says, "I'm sorry. Come back. Please! Come back." On a whim, desperate for her best friend, she kisses him. His lips are warm but fading, and she wishes that she had gotten him for just a little longer.

But deep inside she knows it's too late. True Love heals all, yes, but death is not an illness. Death is a truth.

Emma stays there, holding Hook, for who knows how long. All Emma knows is she can't take her eyes off his face, off the way the sun makes him seem almost alive. Off those lips she had waited too long to kiss. She cannot take her eyes off his dark hair, or his dead eyes.

She cannot take his eyes off _him. _Finally, tired and grieving, Emma stretches out her blood-covered legs and puts her head on Hook's dead arm.

When she tries to sleep, all she has is nightmares, and a line from Hook's tall tales ring in her ears.

_"The young dragon-trainer layed by the dead dragon, his hear sad and heavy. Then the evil magician cackled, 'I'd say sweet dreams,' he said, 'but there aren't any left.' Then the magician melted into the darkness, leaving the young boy wondering, 'How can I know who I am, until I know who I was?' "_

Her eyes were heavy, her breath slow, but when she closed her eyes, all Emma could see was the blood on Hook's shirt, and the way his light faded before her eyes.

* * *

_"How can I know who I am, till I find out who I was?"_

_~Rise of the Guardians; Jack Frost._

* * *

_If you haven't guessed, this is NOT a one-shot. I'm making it a three-shot or two-shot. It won't be long. Here you go, Kat. I hope you liked it :)_

_Sincerely,_

_Jay._


	2. Chapter 2

_Hi everyone. I hope you've all had a fantastic day. Kat, second chapter's up! Enjoy!_

* * *

"_The stars never aligned for us;_

_I thought I knew you better._

_It feels like it's all gone to dust,_

_My best friend… I love you._

_Forever."_

* * *

**It's too late, I'm sorry I love you.**

By **Everyone's a Mortal.**

_For __**Whovenger258.**_

* * *

"Mom?"

Emma shifts her weight so she can peek out of her covers. Henry is standing at the door, dressed in a tuxedo. He catches sight of her and tries not to cry.

She looks broken.

"Mom… it's time." He says, trying for a smile that never comes. He misses the old pirate too, after all. When he says his mother's blond head nod, he leaves. It's up to her now.

Emma lies there for a little while, her energy drained. She has bags under his eyes. Already, she misses his smile. And not the one he died with, but the real one.

The one where all his happiness was caused because of her.

Emma held on to him as long as she could but eventually, someone found her. David. He had seen the way Emma was clinging to the dead pirate, and the two knifes implanted in the pirate's ribcage and stomach. His first thought is Rumplestiltsken, but David decides against that, because a victim of murder never smiles.

And Hook is smiling.

So David went to the second, and highly possible option: Suicide.

He was correct. David called the hospital ("No I can't call 911, I'M 911!"), and managed to tear Emma away from her dead friend. He picked her up like one would a baby, and carried her away. She didn't fight, but her eyes stayed glued to Hook until well after they had driven away on David's pickup, leaving Emma's bug behind, and the whole time she'd mutter, "It's too late… no… I'm sorry…" And once in a while, "I love you. Come back."

It broke David's heart, and he asked himself why Hook would do such a thing.

Now Emma brushes her hair, after just getting out of the shower. Her body shakes but she ignores it. She wants him back. Why did he go? Why didn't True Love's kiss work? She's his best friend, right?

Then it hits her that maybe the Letter has an answer. Emma still hasn't read it, and today -Hook's funeral day- already seems so sad. She slipped into her best dress -the same one she wore on her 28th birthday- and put on something she had always wanted to wear.

Hook's jacket.

As a child she'd always wanted to meet a real pirate and asked how comfortable his or her clothes was and here… here was her chance to try it on for herself. Amidst the sorrow, Emma found small comfort in the fact that she owned something Hook used to wear. She laughed to herself. It still smelled like him.

The overcoat was a bit big, and far longer than her dress (which made her look like a slut. Emma slipped it off), but the original coat was rather small and fit perfectly. It was a lighter shade of black, and Emma liked the way her body seemed to melt into it. Slipping on her shoes, she went outside. She caught sight of something that made her small happiness shrivel.

The Letter. It lied there on her bedside table, cursing Emma. Yet, on a whim, she takes it and slips it into her pocket. She crams Hook's white shirt, overcoat, bottle of rum (it's still got some in it), sword, and necklace into her larger purse. Then she walks out the door, frightened because she knows she'll cry at Hook's funeral.

* * *

"_Hook was a worthy enemy. He was a true opponent, and for once in my life, I am sad to lose an enemy." _Gold says, and Belle sniffles. Apparently, he was in her kingdom's royal navy, and was well-liked before he went rogue.

They had been friends.

Belle and Gold slowly walk away, and Belle, apparently forgetting what Hook once tried to do to her, whispers that Hook will be missed.

Emma hates them.

They're such _liars. _They shouldn't even be speaking Hook's name. David glances at his daughter. She gets up slowly, the cold outside air (it was a burial at sea) nipping at her legs. Her arms however, are warm. "Um… hi." She says. The audience is quiet, solemn. People Hook never even _spoke _to stare back at her. Why are they here? Emma doesn't know.

"So, I didn't write a eulogy. But here goes." She takes a shaky breath; "Killian Jones was my best friend. Hell, he _is _my best friend. I loved him and never admitted it. That was the dumbest thing I ever did. My family keeps telling me that it isn't my fault he's dead but I have a feeling it is. Over half of you here didn't know, never even spoke to him. But you knew him by reputation. You knew Captain Hook was an evil, ruthless man, who had only one goal: to kill Rumplestiltsken." Emma sighs.

"Well, here's the deal. That's not Hook. Maybe it was after Gold killed Milah -and that was totally Gold's sin, by the way- but that wasn't the Hook I came to know. It wasn't the Hook I came to love. The Hook I knew wasn't Hook, it was Killian. He was kind, sassy, sarcastic, and I…," Emma's voice cracks, "I love him. Which is why I want him to come back to me so badly, but that's not gonna happen because even though I'm apparently the most powerful person on Earth, no one can bring back the dead."

Emma pauses for a bit, "No one. But you know what? He made me happy and I guess I'm gonna hold on to that. Whenever Hook would catch me looking at him he'd always say, 'Swan, I'm a pirate. You're a princess. We could sail the seven seas,' and I was such an _idiot_. I'd tell him not to be stupid. But guess what? I regret nothing about our time together. I miss him like hell and for the rest of my life I will never come to the ocean without remembering him, but we had one small story. Killian Jones and I, we had one small love story."

Emma slips out of the podium, and when she reaches Hook's casket (which is waiting to be closed), she caresses his face. Then, turning, she nods to David. He and Ashley's husband step forward -the only one's in uniform- and pick up Hook's casket. Emma finally breaks down, sobbing. The _Jolly Roger _seems to cry along with her, and with as Hook is lowered into the ocean, Emma sees his face staring into her. It's a face she'll never forget.

* * *

Emma waves her family ahead of her, after the _Jolly Roger _is tied at the dock. When everyone is gone, Emma grabs Hook's clothes, and a pair of jeans she had grabbed on a last minute whim. She changes right there on the deck, into Hook's white shirt, into her jeans, and puts on his coat and overcoat. Then Emma curls up into a ball.

Her fingers run over Hook's words, on the envelope.

**It's too late, I'm sorry I love you.**

Finally, Emma tears open the envelope. The paper falls out, and Emma snatches it.

It's about three pages long, written in Hook's bold, straightforward handwriting. Emma's breath shakes, but she knows she has to read it.

It was in the package. Hook wants her to have it.

The first words are simple, and soon Emma is hearing Hook's voice speaking to her.

_Emma. _

_I have loved that name since I first heard it, you know. Well, okay, so I might have hated it at first, but I loved it as time went on. Emma. Looks good on paper, too. Love, your parents did well. Well, considering that rambling about your name isn't much helpful, I'll cut to the chase._

_By the time you receive this I'll be… well, dead. And I'm sorry. This letter is explaining why I'm dead, or why I committed suicide. It's -what do you call it?- a suicide letter. You gave me the idea. Remember when you joked about sending me a suicide letter, back when we were sailing to Neverland?_

Emma's heart breaks. She does remember. All too well.

_I have been planning since then. I know you're wondering what drove to such madness. I guess, to do that, I'll have to tell you my story. From the very beginning. _

Emma imagines him pausing, taking a breath, wondering where to begin. She rocks back and forth, in synch with the _Jolly Roger_, which, according to another note in Hook's package, now belongs to her.

_It all began when my papa left me at the age of seven. I was all alone, unsure what to do. There came one day when I wandered into a rather nice town, and do you know what I saw, Emma love?_

_A picture of my father._

_There he was, drawn in pencil with a __**WANTED **__sign above his head, and a reward below it. Twenty five million dollars to bring my papa in alive, and twenty thousand to bring him in dead. Apparently, he was a fugitive, and had caused more than fifteen lives to be lost in countless fires he had started._

_I will never forget that day, Swan. Never. I felt so lost and alone and I wondered, why did my father do this? Did he have some sort of mad taste for flames? And, why did my mama have to run off on him, on me? Perhaps, Swan, is my mother had stayed and endured papa like I had, I would have turned out… differently. I wouldn't have been alone._

_What happened next was the miracle that led me to become a pirate. There was a boy standing at a door, an he looked so much like me, just a little older, maybe eight or nine. He waved to me, and I waved back. He and I ended up playing football -or soccer, as you call it in this realm- for the rest of the morning. Then his mother came, and when she saw me she asked where my parents were._

"_I don't have any, miss." I replied. Something in her eyes changed, and so she took me in and raised me as her own, her and her son, they were my family._

_But I never stopped wondering about my father, and to this day I blame myself for his leaving. Don't ask me why, but it's sort of like blaming myself for Milah's death. It wasn't my fault, but I blame myself, and hunting down my crocodile was something I did to sooth myself._

_Emma, dear, my brother and I joined the Navy. There, he and I went on our first trip to Neverland. But my brother died there, and guess what? It was the government's fault. The stupid king. That's why I never trust a man with power. They say absolute power corrupts absolutely._

_It does._

_I never forgave myself for my brother's death either, and maybe that's when the depression started. After I became a pirate, I could not forgive the world. After my Milah was killed, I found no more happiness._

_Until I met you._

_I will never forget the day you tied me up in a giant's house. I felt so proud of you. Can you believe that? But, see, no woman has ever been smart enough to outsmart a pirate except you. So I was proud._

Emma takes a breath, and a cold breeze comes by. She can hear Hook's laughter in it.

_The reason I'm writing this now is to state that you did something to me, Emma Swan. Somewhere along the way I fell in love with you and you refused to acknowledge that you loved me too._

_So I'd go home, and I'd be sadder than usual because was it really that bad to be in love with me?_

"No," Emma whispers. "No, no..."

_Yes. I guess it was. So now, Emma, you know why I have two knives implanted in me. At least, that's one reason. Another one is the fact that I have constantly been misinterpreted as the stereotypical pirate. It killed me. I left my realm because the government was dreadful, horrible. I hated it._

_So I chose to be my own leader._

_Emma, darling, I once said that there is no mercy the sea has to give, and neither do I. It's true, love. I won't give myself mercy._

_By the time you read this I'll be dead. I love you, Emma. But you never truly loved me, did you dear?_

_It's too late, I'm sorry. I love you._

_Yours forever,_

_Killian Jones._

* * *

_"I guess the scariest part is that  
no one will hear you  
scream."_


	3. Chapter 3

_last chapter to this threesome (yes, I am aware that that sounds wrong). I don't own._

_I've enjoyed this guys, I hope you did too._

* * *

**_It's too late, I'm sorry I love you 03._**

_By **Everyone's a Mortal.**_

_for **Whovengers258.**_

* * *

_"In the memories of my mind,  
I sometimes remember our story.  
I sometimes remember our life  
before you died.  
In the memories of my mind,  
I sometimes remember you...  
I _always_ remember you."_

* * *

She understands now.

Why he left.

It's still blur, as she walks back to where she is living with Mary Margaret, David, and Henry but... Emma understands the jest of it.

Why he left.

Why it always seemed like he had a mask tied firmly over those handsome features of his.

The one thing she's yet to understand is why the kiss didn't work.

Emma's nose is red from crying. She's half-way back to the apartment when of all people, Tinkerbell and Belle stop her.

"Y-you can keep him alive." Tinkerbell says. She looks sad herself, like Hook being gone has had an effect on not only Emma but the whole town. Come to think of it, maybe the whole world. In Emma's eyes, everything around her is a dull nothing now.

But maybe, just maybe, it's not just her eyes that see the world this way.

"What do you mean?" Emma sniffles. A bubble of hope rises inside her.

Belle clarifies, her nose also red, "Hook. You can keep him alive by keeping his_ memory_ alive."

The bubble pops.

"Oh." Emma says. She tried to walk past them. Tinkerbell holds her back.

"Emma," the fairy says, "we know you loved him. You simply hadn't loved him enough. It's okay."

Emma's eyes blaze, "Okay? He's dead because of me! Because of us! Because _no one _ever loved him _enough._"

Belle and Tink's eyes are cast downwards. Softly, Belle says, "Emma, sweetheart, he's gone because it was his time. Maybe us not loving him with our whole hearts had something to do with it, but Hook's gone and we cannot bring him back. Only one thing in this world is more powerful than True Love and magic."

Emma breathes in sharply, suddenly realizing why the kiss didn't work. "Death."

The two women before her nod.

Tinkerbell says, "the Blue Fairy taught me that, when someone is wounded, there is only one way he may be healed: before he dies. For a long time I believed her until, one day, I came across a young gentlemen who had tried to commit suicide by stabbing his stomach. I tried time and again to heal him but I couldn't." Tinkerbell swallowed. "I had to watch him die before my eyes."

Belle took over, "Emma... we can be healed by magic... but only before we die and _only _if the wound or point of sickness wasn't made voluntarily by the victim. Not even True Love's kiss can heal a wound that was purposefully made by the injured himself."

Emma staggers back, involuntarily. She's startled and grief stricken. "So... Hook... knew...?"

Belle nods silently. She hugs Emma and Tinkerbell whispers, "We need to keep his memory alive. All three of us knew him. He tried to kill me, after all."

Belle chuckles, "And me."

Emma sniffles, "I tried to kill _him._"

A silence settles.

"For Hook." Belle says.

"For Hook," Tinkerbell joins.

Emma takes a breathe.

_"For Killian."_

* * *

When they step out onto the beach with all of Storybrooke trailing behind them, the moon is full and bright, not a cloud in the sky.

Quite a thing, Emma thinks. Everyone from the town in standing, spread out on the beach.

And they are all bloody confused.

Emma's had one doozy of a time trying to round them up -Regina had a fit, screaming questions like _why should we listen to the grief-stricken savior_- but eventually everyone obeyed.

Probably out of pity, but still.

Emma stands in front of them, feet being tickled be the waves, her mask slowly crumbling as she starts speaking. "Hi." She says. The crowd nods to her. Somewhere in the crowd, Neal is standing side by side with Henry. But for now, Emma is alone up here.

It breaks her, because she knows if Killian -she gulps- if Killian were still alive, he'd be up here with her.

He'd be helping her.

But he is gone now and she, Emma, is alone.

"So, um, as you guys know, Killian -that is, Captain... Captain H-hook- is, um... dead." Emma takes a shaky breathe, her legs violently shaking, the tremors spreading throughout her whole body. "And... I'm sad. And angry. But you know what? Today we're here to do something that not everyone wants to do" -she looks at Regina and Rumpelstiltskin- "and this is remembering Hook."

The crowd murmurs, some angry, some understanding, and some confused. "Um, my... my dad, Charming, will be handing out small sail boats. In the sail boat you'll find a candle. These boats, these candles, are in memory of Hook. Some of you might want to write a note to him, so there's a sharpie to write something on the inside of your boat. And some of you might not. That's okay."

Silently, Emma lights her candle. On the inside of her boat she places a picture taken of her and Killian, and writes her note.

Everyone follows her moves, until all the adults and children of Storybrooke have a lighted sailboat in their hands. Emma gently sets hers down in the ocean, and watches it float out to sea. Everyone else does the same.

As people leave, they squeeze Emma's hand, or shoulder, or even hug her. The Charming's, Neal, Belle, and Tink are the last ones to leave. They each give Emma a hug, and leave.

They know she needs her time alone.

It surprises Emma; now all the little ships are just a speck of light, but one by one they all capsize.

All of them, but hers.

She stands on the beach, slightly confused. But she remembers her note, and while she's not sure if it really is a sign, the little boat comforts her.

**It's you and me, Killian. Just you and me. Together, in the long run. It's never too late.**

Her mind wanders for a moment or two, until a voice whispers in her mind, surrounding her with a warmness.

_Emma, _it says, _you're right. Just you and me. We're a team._

Emma hugs herself, the warmth not leaving her as she walks back towards Storybrooke.

She'll be okay, she thinks to herself. They'll all be okay.

_Just you and me._

* * *

_"You are the earth that I will stand upon.  
You are the words that I will sing."_

**_~Ed Sheeran._**

* * *

_Thanks to the following: Every last person who reviewed and followed. Y'all rule :). Adam and Eddy, for without them OUAT would not exist. Colin O'Donoghue, and Jennifer Morrison for their always amazingness. You just keep being amazing!_

_Most of all though, I'd like to thank Kat. You are the BOMB._

_Thanks everyone. _

_Yours in fandomness and all that good stuff._

_~Jay._


End file.
